Pay It Forward

I have this friend I met about 6 years ago online. The circumstances under which we meant were not fun at the time. I was in the midst of a panic attack and looking for people who would understand. I didn't think they existed. So I googled a chat room for anxiety. And found one where everyone knew what I was talking about. But one person chose to take me under her wing and explain to me what was happening and why  I shouldn't give it so much power over my life.
 This person helped me more then I can ever put into words. And to this day she still helps me. We live in different countries, thousands of miles apart, but we click like we've known each other since the beginning of time. She gets my dry sense of humor and I get hers. She gets how hard it is being broke all the time and trying to find fun things to do on a budget.
This person has not only given me ideas on things to do on a budget, but she has bought me and my family things. Fun things, necessity things, and just things she thinks we would like. And her only request for doing so is that when I can I should pay it forward.
To pay it forward I tend to take people under my wing when they need a listening ear, and I tell them what has worked for me in the past. I listen to their problems and try to give solutions that would help them. I am not in the position to financially pay it forward to someone the way she has. But I also try to give what I can to what I think is a good cause. Even if its sending an extra dollar to school when they are having popcorn and pickle day, for someone who forgot their money or can't afford it. I think this is my way of teaching Jules to pay it forward herself. Cause I let her decide who needs it.
Now if I thought she would appreciate it I would shout her name from rooftops just to get the point across that I think she is fantastic. But shes not that kind of person. She would rather remain anonymous. So I will grant her that wish. And I also think I am being a little selfish cause I don't want you to know her, as I want to keep her to myself.
I also have another friend that reminds me of this anonymous person. And she found me in a moment of need. I hope she sees me as I see my friend. The newish friend is also great to me. And she has came strides in her anxiety battle, and I see her coming even further. No doubt about it. After all she had a great mentor. Me. No, in all honestly she will go far in her battle because she has the persistence of a pit bull and the caring nature of an angel. And that will get her far. And when she stumbles I will be there. Just like my friend is for me.
Overall the message is this: If someone has done something kind for you, even as little as shooting you a smile in a store when your having a crappy day. Pay it forward. It would make the world a better place.
So for my special friends, know you have touched me deeply. Know I love you both. And I am lucky to have you both in my life.  If I didn't already have the worlds best mother I would gladly claim either one of you.  Mellie Out.