Saturday, August 21, 2010

Moving The Blog

So because I am turning into such a media whore I have decided to move my blog to word press. So in a few days I will be deleting this blog completley. But for now I will leave it so all my followers can know where to find me. So heres the new space. I hope you enjoy it. Its easier to suscribe and comment.
New rants coming soon and updates on life. So I hope to see you there :) Mellie Out.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Assignment #3

The assignment was as follows:
Assignment #3: Photo Image Poem

I want you to spread out a bunch of pictures that you have. They could be of anything: old family photos, nature pictures, wedding photos, etc. Display them in front of you and look at them for a while. Pick out 6 pictures that speak to you the most. Then select 3 pictures that are worth words and finally, choose one of those final 3. With this picture, I want you to write a poem with very descriptive imagery. I want you to take that picture and make it into words so that when I read the poem, I can clearly visualize what you have written about in concrete language. Abstractions are prohibited. Show me the picture IN WORDS. If possible, share the picture with me once I have finished reading it and I will decide if you have satisfied my mind's eye enough to earn a good grade. I will give extra points for usage of metaphor and non-rhyming sound devices. Good enjambment might even earn you an A.

Assignment #3

Punished For Creativity

Dirty nose, dirty face,

arms and legs are such a mess.

Her tear smudged cheeks black with ink,

it's obvious the statement she was trying to make.

The lines so precise and the nose completly black,

She looked like a zebra made in Kindergarten class.

She started to cry more when I finally got a look,

I wonder if she thought I would throw the book.

The more she cried the more she smeared,

Making her hard work all but disappear.

So sorry she did it now,

But more sorry we had caught her somehow.

"Stand in the corner." was the punishment given,

She walked to the wall without being driven.

She stood there for her time,

then when it was over, she decided to whine.

No remorse for doing the deed,

Remorse came from getting caught

and being scrubbed clean.

Soon all the ink would be washed away

But because of the picture she would always see this day.

I got an A- on this assignment :)

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Assignment #2

For Assignment #2, I want you to write me what I like to call a "Concrete Love Poem". How are you going to do that if love itself is an abstraction? Describe all the qualities of love that appeal to your five senses. It can be any kind of love: platonic, familial, sexual, even self-destructive. Your choice. I want it to be written in Times New Roman font size 12 and it should be a full page long. You may choose how long your stanzas are and if you want to use rhyme or not but pay attention to rhythm. Good poetry must have good rhythm and pace. If you want to know more about pace, try banging your fist down on a table in between each word while you read the poems. Eventually, you will encounter the rhythm of each one.

And here is my work. At the end you will see the grade. Enjoy.

My First Born Assignment #2

The first month started like any other,

a bug I caught was the reason my tummy was all a flutter.

Days went by and still the sickness came,

I started to realize my life was about to change.

Go to the doc is what they all advised,

they wanted me to confirm the inevitable I could only surmise.

So I made the appointment, and indeed I was right.

Today my world would change overnight.

Everything in that those hard long days

couldn't prepare me for the force of your gaze.

Those months I saw my insides come out,

a popular dinner guest I was not.

More time passed and the big day arrived,

Off we flew to meet the new life.

So scared I was to pass or fail,

But giving you life was worth all the miserable details.

Here you were so small, yet so loud.

"She looks like her mother!" they all exclaimed outloud.

They whisked you away to places unknown.

All at once I was again incredibly alone.

In the end the war we had won,

not to say small battles wouldn't come

You were mine completley and without qualm,

and I was yours, growing with you to be more then just "Mom"

B+ was the grade :) And I am showing you all exactly what I turned in to my friend.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

starting A CLASS

PLEASE FORGIVE THE KEYBoard issues, they canT BE helped. ill update you why later. i decided to take a frienD UP ON his offer to teach me to honE MY SKILLS TO BE a writer, so i will be PUTTINg my assignMENTs up here for you all to follow.
my first assigNmenT WAS A FREE VERSE POEM ABout what me my "ghosts" would say to me.

aSSIGNmenT #1      gRADE B





as yours was shiny and NEw


PLEADING for a lift

nO ONe heard my screams

i beGGED PLEADED AND wished.

FINally when I COULD FEEL No more

THO i heard anD SAW AND smelt

my last day on EARTH

WOULD BE your first out.
Mellie out.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Fathers Day

So today is Fathers Day. Hope those of you who are still blessed with your dads gave them some love if you are so inclined to do so. Those who were raised by single mothers, hope you thanked them, and those who have lost a father I hope you sent a loving thought upwards today.
As crazy as it sounds at different points in my life I have been fathered all three ways. Lost my dad when I was 9, then had a single mom raising me and my bros for a bit, then got a great step dad who I claim as much as I would my real dad. All in all a lucky break for me. I got to experience all the variables possible. Well besides having a deadbeat dad. I'll gladly pass on experiencing that one.
And now on this Fathers day, I get to watch my husband with his girls. Almost more of a treat for me then it is for him. He is such a great daddy. And I know the girls will always think so as long as they live.
Ironically I never wanted kids when I was growing up. I liked kids okay. I thought they were cute. They didn't annoy me. I loved my nieces and nephews. Didn't want the responsibility of my own though.
Then I saw Jason with his nieces and nephews. And I saw how much they loved him. And he loved them. Then I saw how he would react to a baby waving to him in the store. Or how he would make a point to buy his nephew a certain toy that he knew he wanted every year for Christmas. That's when I knew. There was no way to go into this marriage and tell him he has no reason to expect kids.  Marriage is suppose to be about compromise so here was mine. Give me a few years of just me and Jason then we would talk kids. We were married in 2000 and Jules was born in 2004.  We both won. I think I actually got more blessed in the deal then he did. He got what he wanted, but I got something I never knew I would want. And something I never want to lose. For that I thank Jason. Happy Fathers Day. Mellie Out.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

One day at a time

So its been almost a week since I have blogged. I guess the addiction wavered a little. Honestly I have been fighting some bad anxiety lately and have not felt like doing much of anything. But I think I am well on the road to recovery.
With a little self dialogue and some help from my friends and family I decided to go back on anxiety meds. Not because I can't manage without them, but because I am tired if wasting the energy fighting the anxiety instead of doing things I actually enjoy. Like time with my kids, and keeping a clean house, and blogging.
So here we are day 2 of the new med. Its not so bad honestly. And I think if it gets bad its pretty much just a figment of my imagination. I've been on this med before, its helped me a ton. It will work again like its suppose to. It won't take the anxiety away nor will it even do most of the work. But it will take the edge off and that's what I need right now. A break.
I have to do the work. And I will do the work. And I might go off the meds again. And maybe I won't. I've learned the easiest way to make God laugh is to make plans. So I am not even going to go there. One day at a time is all I can do right now.
So feeling better, not great at this point. But I will get there. Now for more positive news.
My family was blessed with a new pool to enjoy. And enjoy it we have been doing. The girls love it. And they ask constantly to go swimming. Honestly its a great way for us all to hang out together, or even hang out with one of the kids one on one. Just tonight me and Jules swam for a couple hours and had a blast. She had me all to herself so she was on top of the world.
Shes also learning to swim really really well. And honestly is impressing me. I hate to admit this publicly but I am learning how to swim in it also. That's right I don't know how to swim. Or I didn't. But I think by the end of the summer I might have a good enough grasp on it that I could save someone. At the very least right now I can save myself.
Other then that no real new news on the home front. I am thinking up blog topics daily, but running a little dry on ideas lately. So if you have an idea let me know somehow. Feel free to leave a comment. I'll be back to blogging regularly soon. Mellie Out.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Not Your Typical Romance Story

I figured since I've more or less introduced you to my two daughters you should know a little about where they came from. And that would have to be me and their Dad. My loving husband Jason. So I thought I should share the story of how we met. So here goes.
In June of 1998 my grandma who lived here in Oklahoma passed leaving her house empty. For some reason I was insistent on moving into it. Or just moving to Oklahoma period. I made up lists of reasons why we should move here. Cost of living was cheaper. A different school would do my little brother good. We would be closer to family. You name it I used it. I was 16 at the time so I had to work a little harder then most to convince an adult that moving 2000 miles was a good idea. But eventually they came around to my way of thinking and we moved here the next month.
So we get to Oklahoma at the end of July and get the house in order. Then its time for school to start. Going into your first year at a new school as a Junior is never fun. But I came out of my first day with 2 friends. I was elated. One of my friends had a job at the local Sonic Drive In. And she told me they were hiring. Well I needed the money and had more then enough time so I applied. I was called in for an interview the same day I turned my application in. I guess they were desperate. I was told I started the following day. I was nervous but more excited to actually have somewhere to go other then home to watch TV till my eyes drooped and it was time for bed,  for a change.
All that day at school my friend was telling me what the job was like. And who was who. And how some managers were more easy going then others. She said Kristy is a stickler. Don't piss her off or she will work you harder. The other one whose name escapes me at the moment was pretty hardcore too, but she was fun also. Then there was Jason. The bosses right hand man. Jason was scary to look at but really a big teddy bear. I shouldn't worry at all about Jason. He was cool. Turns out I started on Jason's shift.
 I show up to work 15 minutes early to make a good impression and to fill out some paperwork. Nothing really catches my attention. Typical fast food stuff. At 5pm in this big burly looking guy comes in. Shaved head. Beer belly. Crazy eyebrows. Glasses. And I really do think to myself : "Whose the child molester?"
Yea you guessed it.
That was Jason.
So I look at my friend and make the same comment to her. And she informs me that is Jason our manager for the evening.
So the shift starts. Me and Jason exchange polite hellos. He tells me what I need to to do and where to be. I do it. And the shift goes by in a flash. Nothing really stands out to me about that shift except thinking he was really creepy.
In no time at all I become addicted to the job. I never thought it was possible to be a workaholic at 16, but I was one. Had many shifts with Jason. My first opinion of him changed slowly. He was cool. A very fair boss. Funny. But more corny then anything. He was also my favorite manager to work with, cause he didn't get in a panic when we had rushes. He was always in charge, not too pushy. Just calm and mellow and made things happen.
So after about 8 months on the job me and Jason became pretty good friends. Not the kind of friends that would go hang out or anything. I mean the dude was 10 years older then me. When I was 17 he was 27. That's ancient. Or so I thought. I had started smoking by this time so I could take a break like all the other smokers. It seriously seemed to be the only way to get 5 minutes off.  And when I would take smoke breaks usually Jason would be taking one at the same time. Probably because we were 2 of the few people who actually took breaks when it was slow instead of during a rush.
But anyway we took breaks together, and slowly got to know each other a little more here and there. What really stands out in my mind is the way he reacted one night. A mutual friend and coworker came to work and was as depressed as I have ever seen them. I remember wondering what was wrong but being too swamped to ask. I do remember Jason telling them to take a break with him. Which was unusual cause this friend didn't smoke. So I really don't ponder on it long. Then a little later I walk outside to take my break and see Jason and our friend crying together. CRYING! What kinda 27 year old dude cried openly with another dude? The more I thought about it, the more I became attracted to Jason.
Jason was always there to listen if you or anyone had a problem. He was the first person people wanted to go too. To say I was getting a crush would be right. I really just thought of it as a crush because I wasn't at all interested in an old man. Not me. I had plans. I was going to graduate and go off to college and party my ass off and then get a good job. Isn't life funny sometimes?
So I went about my workaholic ways. Kept talking to Jason casually as friends. Never thought he would look twice at me cause of my age. And then one night I was trying to eat my food in the middle storage room and Jason comes walking by and he stops and whispers in my ear: "What are my chances with you?" OK Mr.Lame Ass. Yea I had heard this line in the same movie I assumed he was quoting. So I respond "One in a million." And he goes "Great I still got a chance!" Whatever weirdo. As a teenager you tend to go over these moments over and over again in your head and analyze it to death. Any moment that has something to do with the opposite sex really. And I thought maybe, just maybe he did have a thing for me. I wasn't totally convinced, but its nice to have a dream right?
A few days after that Jason started walking me to my car when I would get off the night shift. Nothing weird about that. We had had some strange things going on around the place. A robbery and some shifty people around. So I thought he was just being polite. And it was always a good time. He would walk me to my car and we would joke, or talk, or just be silent cause we were pooped from our shift.
On this particular shift he told me to wait for him to finish counting money. He had never asked me to wait before. If he was busy I just walked myself, no biggie. Even though I knew my parents always waited for me to get home before they went to bed I waited. Something was up I could feel it.
So he finishes counting the take that day and puts it in the safe, same as he has done 100 times before. Looks at me and says "You ready?"
"Yep been ready for 20 minutes but your slow ass told me to wait." (We've always been so nice to each other)
So out the door we went. He was super quiet. I felt the tension radiating from him. What the hell was up with him?
We get to my car and I unlock it and throw my apron and keys in the seat, turn around and say "Thanks for walking me to my car, I'll see you tomorrow night I guess..."
So he says "Yea...tomorrow..."
Then it happens. He leans in and gives me the first kiss of my life from someone of the opposite sex that I wasn't related to. (Wow that sounds wrong but you get what I mean) To say I was stunned was an understatement. I was knocked out of orbit.  I swear I saw those fireworks people talk about. When it was over I practically fell down.
He grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze and said a casual "See ya babe"
I got in my car and headed home. The smile never leaving my face. Had this just truly happened to me? Does this mean we are dating? What the hell am I going to do tomorrow at work? Is he going to act weird with me? Am I going to act weird with him? Do I tell my friends? My Mom? Anyone?
Well I could answer one of those questions as soon as I walked in my house and my Mom seen me. She said "Why are you smiling like that? What happened? Did you get kissed?" Wow that Mothers intuition wins every time.
And so the story began. The moral of the story is love at first sight doesn't happen nearly as often as people claim. Get to know someone before you judge them. I am glad I did.
Mellie Out.