The Short Story of My Anxiety

Lets see what did I do today...I woke up at about 6:45am after going to sleep about 3 coughing my head off. Then I had it in my mind that I couldn't stop coughing. So i continued coughing on and off for about 20 minutes. Ahhh the lovely world of anxiety. Coughing is actually where my first panic attack stemmed from.
It was a few weeks after I had my oldest. And I was overtired, over emotional, and I had a bad cold to top things off. My husband being the loving guy he is woke me up to inform me I was coughing too loud and I was going to wake the baby.
 Apparently I haven't changed since childhood.
 When you tell me to stop doing something it makes me want to do it more. And more I did. Then I couldn't stop. Then I told the husband I couldn't breathe, then I briefly lost my mind. That's pretty much when I lost my normal life too. That night I was able to be convinced that I was breathing, and that I would in fact eventually stop coughing. The first of many "pep talks" Jason would be giving me over the next 6 years. I did eventually stop coughing, but I had the constant fear that I would have that feeling again. And so as the old saying goes "If you build it they will come"...Wait that quote really doesn't fit. But I am too lazy to backspace at the moment so deal with it. But anyways you get my drift. The more I thought about that crazy feeling I had, the racing thoughts, the rapid heartbeat, the hot and cold body temperature. The more I dreaded the next time it would happen. So in doing that I created a vicious cycle. And it did indeed happen again. But in different ways. Sometimes it would hit at night when I was doing nothing but waiting for it to come. Then it started happening during the day when  I was alone with the baby. Making me absolutely terrified to be alone with my new baby because I was afraid I would die of some horrible constant coughing disease and she would be with me helpless.  So that started another vicious cycle of me being afraid to be alone with my baby. And I refused to be alone with her for 6 months. Hardest, most guilt ridden 6 months of my life.
 I know you are thinking "did she go to the doc?" Honestly I didn't go for a while. I was scared they were going to call me crazy and throw me in a mental institute. But finally I went and they prescribed me something. And I swear it made me worse after 1 pill. Now keep in mind I was new to the anxiety game. I didn't know they had side effects and took time to work (Like 6 weeks). I hightailed it to the ER so fast and told them I was going to pass out and die, right there. They had better do something. So I got the checkup. Nothing wrong with me but anxiety. I was clearly hating this damn word. Anxiety. What a heinous word. So that was the beginning of the anxiety train. To make a long story short, cause it is a long story, I ended up going to the ER 5 times in one week. I also went to the doctor numerous times. I tried to get therapy. They told me I had to be suicidal for them to squeeze me in. "Are you suicidal?" "No dumb ass I am as far from suicidal as possible, I FEAR death" "Then move along we can't help" So move along I did. I actually started avoiding everything and anything that made me the slightest bit anxious. That led to not leaving my house for 6 months.  Not the best solution. But eventually I found an online support group where people actually made sense of this anxiety crap. And it helped me more then I can ever express my gratitude for. Then I went on a new med, knowing the side effects in advance and knowing to give it a chance to work. Started thinking positive about everything.
 So I still have anxiety. I think I always will. I honestly think everyone does to some degree. But I cope better with it these days. I still avoid things. But not everything. That's the main thing. I am moving on. And even if its one step back and 2 steps forward, I will eventually get to my destination.
Tomorrows blog (if I am so inspired to do one LOL) will be a happier one, a more ranting one. The kind I am now famous for. But we can't be a clown our whole life can we? So I must take a serious moment now and again. You'll deal.  Mellie Out.

A fairy tale

Once upon a time there was a little girl who was brought up poor but with loving parents. She never longed for anything because she felt she was rich with love. Then she got married and became more rich with love. Then she had kids and became what felt like a billionaire with love. The End.
 If  this is you get the hell of my blog. I don't buy your BS. Yea I have great parents and I have great kids and a great husband. But realistically I of course I want stuff. Who doesn't?  I don't know what brought on this random entry honestly but something obviously triggered my temper. I am going to blame PMS and Bobs. The combo has never made me happy yet she (Bobs) insists she can handle my bitchy ways every month. So far she is indeed still alive.
 On a far completely different note, it is Memorial Day weekend. Which means swimming and cooking out and hanging with family and remembering dead people. What a ironic holiday! Yea! Lets go to the lake and boat and camp, but don't forget....Think about those you lost. Umm paging Debbie Downer!!! I may be alone in this thinking, but I declare we start a completely different holiday for the unofficial start of summer and leave Memorial Day the somber day it should be with us remembering loved ones who have passed and soldiers who have died protecting our freedoms. Its just like us Americans to multitask to the complete nth degree. Hell women schedule C-sections based around their work schedules these days. I guess its just me being a cranky 28 year old. YES I am only 28 and I just read what I wrote and I sound about 55. No offense 55 year olds.
 Lets see what else can I rant about....my husband is snoring in the chair next to me. Sometimes I think of shoving stuff up his nose and seeing what happens. But then my anxiety tendencies kick in and I go all "worst case scenario" and figure if I do indeed shove this cheese puff up his nose he is going to inhale it and it will go into his lungs thus causing a deadly infection and he will die. I don't want him to die. Especially not death by cheese puff. What a way to go... "Hey Mel how did your husband die?" "Well he inhaled a cheese puff and died". That has to be the least glamorous way to go ever. The more I think about this cheese puff idea I don't actually think it would go to his lungs. Logically it would probably get lodged in his throat and I could save him. Then I could be a hero. But then we have the issue of me stuffing the cheese puff up there in the first place. I obviously have to much time on my hands. Just to be on the safe side I do not want my loving, handsome, great father to my kids, warmhearted, caring husband to die. I can't help these random things that come into my head people. Sooner or later you will learn this about me. Or you will call the people with the lovely white jackets to come get me. Either way, your call. Alright I have ranted for another night. I should be back at it tomorrow night. Happy Memorial Day weekend? Is that even correct? OK here's another way to go: Sorry about your dead relatives but have a frigging blast bbqing and swimming!!! Mellie Out.

Hair Layering 101

So I kinda have these urges out of the blue to cut my hair every now and then. And its never at the times when actual salons are open. Its always late evening. And usually when I cut my hair I do pretty drastic cuts. I have been know to cut my hair from the middle of my back to the chin without even thinking about it. It's just hair it grows back right? And I am also notorious for letting just anyone cut my hair. I once made the mistake of letting my mother-in-law cut my hair. And I should have known better seeings as shes on pills for her shaky hands and can't see past her nose. But I did, lesson learned never happened again. So tonight I was sitting here and was bored. Thought about my hair randomly and decided to google "How to cut layers into your own hair". Watched a video, it seemed complicated. Watched another and it seemed right up my alley. So after getting a couple different pep talks of people telling me I could do it I went at it. And I am going to take you all through the process.

Exhibit A:

The first step to cutting layers into your head is to put ALL your hair in a ponytail at the top of your head. I actually couldn't resist doing my best valley girl impression after this. "Like totally!" Onwards we go.

Exhibit B:

As you notice the ponytail has not gotten shorter. That is because I just cut two inches of the end of it. The first of two cuts. Yes friends this is a two cut job. NEXT!

Exhibit C:

Now even tho you cant see it I have parted my top hair from the bottom hair. And I needed help to make sure I had it straight. So enter stage right Jason. I made my husband part my hair. To which he complained "Baby you really need to make some friends." Bah real friends are overrated. I prefer my online peeps.  OK so back to the story. He parted my hair for me and I put it up in a pony tail again. in the center of my head. Valley girl style again. OK moving on.

Exhibit D:

OK so I took another 2 inches off that ponytail. Keeping the length you cut off each ponytail is key. And getting that part straight is also very important.  At this point I am looking the mirror thinking "Man I hope I did this right cause I really wasn't paying that much attention to the video at this point. I was actually wondering if Kenz had pooped today." Yes I really ask myself that daily. She has issues. LOL OK so after 2 very big cuts...and lots of blood rushing to my head from bending over and putting my hair up that high we have the finished product. Drum roll please!

The Finished Product!!!

Ahhhh it turned out so good!!! I actually kinda regret not doing a couple more parts and cuts. But now the plan is highlighting it.  Will I post a blog about that? Its looking likely at this point. And I also realize that I didn't really post a before shot. Which makes the after shot kinda pointless. But since I am pretty sure just people that know me read my blog you knew what I looked like before. 

So overall a pretty productive evening. I saved my lovely girlfriend, erm, husband some money by doing it myself and not going to the salon. And I am happy with the results. He even said it looked good. Which is alot for a man whose vocabulary consists of "I dunno" and "maybe" and the occasional grunt.

I will definitely do this again, and probably be a bit more daring with the length I cut off next time. Now that I have a good idea of what I am doing. So now that everyone has seen me take a risk I think you should. Even if that risk is letting your Mother-in-law with shaky hands cut your hair. Just kidding, I do not recommend that at all. I wish I had a picture of that on my computer to show you all. Actually I am glad I don't. It was horrible. So horrible in fact that people wouldn't think I was kidding when I call Jason my girlfriend. Yea THAT bad. OK I think I have blogged myself to contentment tonight. Happy Friday everyone. Mellie Out.

Getting Old I Suppose...

So tonight I am sitting in the comfort of my own home watching the American Idol finale. In past years I have waited with bated breath to see these things. I've rearranged family obligations just to sit and watch these kinds of things. And the more I watch the older I feel. The thrill is gone. Do I really care if some person gets a recording contract worth a million dollars? Do I care this is Simons last season? Do I care that all the old Idol winners came back to tell Simon goodbye? Nope not really.
  Whats going through my head while I am watching is "I bet the girls really would enjoy playing outside since they didn't get to go outside all day." Or "Man I should really get up and do those dishes before all that crap sticks to the plates and its a pain to get off tomorrow." And my personal favorite- "Has Kenz pooped today?" My how our priorities change the older we get.
 So we did indeed go outside to play. And had we not I would have never seen Kenzie ride her tricycle unassisted without so much as a push from me to make it up the hill on the driveway. Wow. That excited me more then 10 season finales could ever do. And I am glad I did miss AI to see that. No regrets for sure.
 I also find myself becoming bored with certain young people. Yea I went through the dating trials and tribulations. Yea I went back and forth on whether someone liked me or wanted to kiss me and so on. But now that I am 9+ years into marriage it doesn't interest me as much. So as I sit back stifling my yawns when certain people are going on and on about their dating lives the only thing that comes to mind is THANK GOD THAT'S OVER FOR ME! And when they ask you what you would do to know if someone likes them or not and you say "ummm ask them?" and you get a huge sigh and "Yea that's not happening Mel" you now know you have hopped on the elderly train. Apparently it is completely against the dating code to be logical about things. When you want to know something by all means DO NOT ask about them. Apparently you are suppose to beat around the bush and trick them into telling you what you want to hear. Have at it my friends. Apparently I am so old now in my 28th year that I no longer have the chase left in me. And looking back I am not entirely sure I ever did. But I can't look back to far as the memory seems to be going the older I get too. Yes my friends I am practically in Alzheimer's country. 
 I guess the moral of my story tonight is when you look back at life you want to be able to say "I don't regret doing that".  I think its impossible not to have any regrets in life. But the fewer you can possibly make yourself have, I honestly believe the smoother your life will be.  My latest regret is not drinking enough water. It made my time on the toilet that much harder. Literally. Oh and btw guys I feel a real poop blog coming soon. Possibly tomorrow if I can work one up. Get it? Work one up! Ahhh I kill myself sometimes. OK you fine folks, time to relax. Mellie Out.

Some good old randomness

As I sit her watching The Golden Girls and eating Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, I find myself wondering what I should blog about. I decided to go into it with no agenda. So whatever pops into my head you get tonight.
 Firstly Jules lost her 4th tooth tonight. About 10 minutes ago actually. After sitting here and watching her push and pull and tug on it for an hour. So now its ready for the tooth fairy. The tooth fairy... who thought of that idea? And why do expect kids to be okay with someone sneaking into their rooms and feeling under their pillows in the dark for their castoff teeth. What a weird tradition. Its all about the money I guess.
 Speaking of money we are broke as usual. I must say being broke for the majority of my marriage has made me appreciate things alot more. I guess when I lived at home I just thought bills were magically paid and food just appeared in the fridge. Ahhh if only it were that way.
 Lots of things change when you're married. When your single you don't have to worry about any ones feelings but your own. Don't have to tell anyone where your going and why your going there. Money wasn't an issue cause if all else failed you could go home to eat where the food magically appeared.
Now fast forward to marriage where you now have children and you have to plan where your going, how much its going to cost, how many diapers and changes of clothes you are going to need, and if making the damn trip is even worth the effort. In all honestly, usually it isn't. And when your low on money when you're married you have to figure out creative ways to stretch food and when all else fails suck it up and go ask the parents for a loan.
 Lots of people know about me that certain things really get my goat. One of them being messing with my family ESPECIALLY my kids. Another thing is bragging about what you have over and over again. I can appreciate something you tell me about once, but when you tell me over and over again about it you just rubbing it in my face then. And the third thing is whining to me about things you damn well could have prevented from happening.
 For example a college student I know says on her Facebook status "Just bought new designer shoes" then an hour later "Ugh I have to eat Ramen now cause I am broke!" Hey dumb ass... do you THINK this could have been prevented? I mean seriously that's like me telling you "Hey I just won 1 million dollars in the lottery then I wiped my ass with the ticket and flushed it!" OK not the same thing at all but you catch my drift. Its annoying.  College students aren't the only ones who do this either. I know many mature adults older then me that do it. I can't mention any names tho as one I might be related too.
Speaking of relatives, Memorial Day is creeping up on us. The official/non official start of summer. And family is coming down. Yea that's all I got from that thought.
Well if its that hard to come up with thoughts I might as well call this the end of this post. So I will be thinking of some kinda theme for tomorrows post. I just need to consult with my peeps. They know who they are. So goodnight readers! Hope this one random post didn't drive you away forever. It will get better. (I hope) Mellie Out.

Mission Accomplished.

I DID IT!!!! I finished the dreaded task of cleaning the pits of hell that I lovingly call my daughters bedroom. Phew. I started at 2pm and finished overall about 9:15. Yea I took a break to cook dinner, eat and think of reasons why I couldn't go on. But then I heard that little voice... "Momma aren't you going to finish cleaning our room? I promise I'll help." Oh my sweet baby. Julie has turned over a new leaf the last couple days. She's all about pleasing Momma. And help she did. She worked her ass off today with me. She complained frequently that Kenz wasn't helping, but that never deterred her from our task at hand. Without her help I would still be at it. Actually no, no I wouldn't. Cause she was the reason I went back at it after all. But it's done! For a week or so at least.

So with that out of the way and the overall feeling of accomplishment it has given me, I have deemed tomorrow "Sit on your ass and catch up on your Facebook apps day" 3 days of doing nothing but work has made Mel a dull girl. But at least when people ask me what I did that day I actually have something to tell them besides "Uhhh nothing really." Seriously who wants to hear that I woke up at Noon and proceeded to sit on my ass all day playing online only to break for the occasional meal, drink refills (both mine and the girls) and bathroom breaks. Yea that's nothing to be too proud of. But such is life. Mine at least.

I really need to do my bedroom and the utility room at some point. But I am not to the point of listing them in my good intentions pile. Because honestly if I write it on here and don't do it, I then feel guilty. Now why should I make myself feel guilty for not doing something that's not going to have a direct effect on anyone else but me? Well I guess I shouldn't. So don't expect an update that I cleaned those rooms anytime soon.

In other news of my life....hold on, I'm thinking. Hmmm. No real news I guess. Oh wait! I did find a picture of a dogs face in a picture of a dogs ass. Hard to explain. It made me happy though. Then it immediately made me question my sanity. As I am sure you are now questioning yours for wondering where you, yourself can see this picture. I am going to try to post it at the bottom of this post. Wish me well. I am not real web design savvy. Oh well, I got people to ask, so its bound to be there.

Well its not 12:06 AM and my sweet little helper is snoring in my ear. Telling me that it might be time to invest in earplugs or go to sleep. So I will try the latter. Hope everyone is staying positive, and thinking good thoughts. Remember you can accomplish things for reasons other then your own if only given a little push. It worked for me. And if that didn't sound all that wisdom-y its because its freaking midnight here and I am wore the hell out. Get over it. Alright my lovely readers. Mellie Out.

It is now 12:28PM after trying to figure out how to post that damn picture in my blog. I would like to thank my tech support Bobs. She has a lovely blog herself at http://ridingincarswithducks.blogspot.com/. I am seriously really out now. Enjoy!

A Late Night Blogger

Its almost midnight here and I think "hmmm I better blog today". Yes I think its becoming an addiction. Like I need another one. I already smoke, eat chocolate, and play every Facebook application you can imagine. Oh well I guess they keep me busy enough to keep me from thinking about other things that irritate me.
Today was a day not unlike most my weekends. Woke up late. Lazed around the house till about 2pm. Got bored and decided I need to get out of the house for a bit. So off we went. Went to get the battery charger for my MILs van. Which STILL isn't running. Sweet Jesus I'm about to go hooking to pay for a mechanic to fix that piece of crap. Anywho... Then we went to the dollar store. Ahh another addiction of mine. So much great stuff for so little money. Then after that eventful trip we came home and me and the girls went swimming for an hour or so. Yes before you ask, sunblock was used this time. Then I came inside and vegged till about 8. Got a weird burst of energy and cleaned my living room and kitchen. So that's done till tomorrow morning when the girls wake up and proceed to see how fast they can make the house look like a tornado hit it again. I bet it won't take long. Never does. I think its a gift kids are born with.
So tomorrows Monday. The start of another week. Usually this would kinda get me down, but I don't have to wake up early for 77 more days. So I will sleep in then face the world with a well rested attitude, Actually i'll prolly just face the world with my normal attitude, but maybe the extra sleep will put some much needed pep in my step. Then after I am up for awhile and the kids are fed and I am fed it will be time to tackle their bedroom. I know I said I was going to do this last night. But I do believe I warned you that could just have been a good intention. I have those alot. Tomorrow tho I am hoping it will be more then a good intention. It has to be done and they won't do it. I remember being little and going to school. And I would come home and my mom would have completely cleaned my room and moved it all around. Most kids think this is such an invasion of privacy. Not me. I welcomed it. A clean room was always so great. I swear I slept better when it was clean. So tomorrow night the girls should sleep like little angels after I get done. Anxiety be damned cause Mellie has an agenda. I should take before and after pics just to prove what a big job I am undertaking. If I remember I will.
So here we go, another week gone, and another starting. Time to make the best of the time we have. Get some crap done that desperately needs to be done is the plan. Wish me luck. Mellie Out.

Productiveness is Overrated

Ahhh Saturday. Day of rest. Day of fun. Day of laziness. Not my Saturday. Turned out to be a "day of how much Mel can stand on her feet and work her ass off till she can't take it anymore". And those people who say "Aww well you had a productive day! That's a good thing!" Umm no. Its not. I could have had a non productive day and sat on my ass and been just as happy. Did I get things accomplished? Sure. Am I glad I did it? Eh.
So what did I do today? Well in true Mellie fashion I opened my mouth and volunteered myself for a job that no one should really ever take on. I volunteered to clean my mother-in-laws basement. Now normally it's not something I would ever even think of. But because of the frequency of tornadic storms and the nature of freak outs that my girls have when we get these storms I thought it would be a good idea. The last time we went down there we were practically standing on top of each other. And that was without the husband even coming down. So I can't imagine actually being stuck down in the basement with the husband AND the mother-in-law with 2 kids freaking out all on top of me. PASS! So I did it. Now I can not only see the floor, but there are now places to sit. So YAY for that.
So I get the basement done. (Not by any means completely cleaned out btw) Then my husband needs me to help him work on the mother-in-laws van. No, he didn't make me get under the vehicle and connect hoses and empty gas. I think he more or less wanted the company. Typically I am ok with that. But I spent 4 hours in the sun yesterday and am literally sun burned from head to toe. So for me to sit outside in the sun handing him tools and turning the vehicle on and off was cruel and unusual punishment. Oh well, he was out there for the greater good, so I should have been too I suppose.
Oh I forgot the first part of my day. I wake up to my 3 year old telling me "Momma, Julie got frewed up on the toys." To which I thought "Sure she did Kenz."
Sadly Kenz was right. Julie gets up and proceeds to puke her guts out 3 or 4 times. Then in true kid form shes absolutely fine. I wish I had kids resiliency still. Puke and Go. Break something and move on. Poop my pants then head out for dinner. So its looking like tomorrow I am cleaning out their bedroom. Hopefully alone. Cause I know how it will go with their help. "Nooo Mom I wanna keep that!" "Nooo Mom we still use that!" "Nooo Mom its not broken that's how we like it!" Nope not happening. I am aiming to clear that room out. If they have toys left I will be surprised. Well they will have some left just not the ones that make noise or kill your feet when you step on them. We'll see. I may not wake up that motivated. But you are my witness. Right now my intentions are good and note worthy.
So yea in a nutshell that was my day. Its 8:30pm right now and I am dreaming about a hot bath and a lil Internet time and a good sleep in a cool room. Scratch that hot bath part. I am going for a cool bath. Sun burn remember? So I will attempt to let you know how it all goes tomorrow. I also foresee a lil playing in the pool with my girls tomorrow. That is a for sure thing. They will make sure of that. Sun screen WILL be used tomorrow. I have learned my lesson of the evil suns ways. Mellie Out.

Plunging in head first

So here goes. Let me first warn you, you shouldn't expect perfect grammar. Nor perfect punctuation. Spelling should be OK provided I learn to use the spell check function. I am not sure yet if this is going to be a G rated blog or an R rated blog. Based on my daily use of curse words I would at least bet PG-13.

With that being said lets get to know me. I am a pretty open person. Sometimes to open. I talk about things most people wouldn't even feel comfortable thinking about. I am blunt to the point. And if I hurt your feelings its not likely I will lose sleep over it. I have empathy, just not for people who constantly ask for it or believe they deserve it. Lets see what else should you want to know about me. I am a wife and a mother. I have a wonderful husband named Jason. Two of the most beautiful daughters you will ever see in your life. Providing I let you see them at all. I'm sure they will all be the topic of many blogs to come. I am 28 and live in Oklahoma. Hence the "Tales from the Cellar" title. I suppose to title could be construed to be a dark or depressing blog. But that's not my goal with this blog. Actually I don't really have a goal except to talk about my life and things that interest me. Whether that be my kids constipation problems at the moment or what I feel about politics at that very moment. I am foreseeing constipation being spoke of more then politics tho. Well poop for sure in any case.
So I got married at 18, (NO I wasn't pregnant) my husband is 10 years older. We had our first child in 2004. That would make her 6. We had our second child in 2006. Yea math whizzes that would make her 3! Somewhere in between getting married and my 1st child I developed anxiety. Panic Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Not a fun diagnosis but its not as bad as it could be. Not like I'm dying from anything. Although sometimes I can convince myself otherwise due to this delightful ailment. I am no where near where I want to be with this condition. I avoid things that make me anxious if at all possible. I am sure that will come up in another post soon enough. But I try to keep it as positive as possible and just deal. We all have bad days and we all have good days. So you just have to roll with the punches. I will talk more on anxiety in future posts for sure. I want to get the word out there about something that isn't as talked about as it should be.
Moving onwards, when I am not chatting online or feeding my Facebook addiction I like reality tv. Big Brother is my favorite show ever. I am addicted. I buy the feeds and all. Hmm should I post spoilers here? Nah there's enough web sites that do that already. I just realized that all my interests make me seem like a giant lazy fat ass. LOL. Well that's partly true. But I do get outside and play with my girls. Recently took up rollerblading. Fell a couple times. I really need to do it more. Oh well summers coming right?
Today is the last day of school for my 6year old Julie. Her first year of school gone in a flash. Man that makes me feel old. Is it me or does it feel like the older you get the faster time goes by? I swear when Christmas came last year I still wasn't over the July 4th BBQ. It still seems to be going by fast this year also. I never thought I would be one of those mothers who fall apart when their kids bring them a ugly macaroni picture or a potted plant on Mother Day, but guess what? Yea I am. My other daughter Kenzie is just the coolest 3 year old ever. Not that Julie isn't. Its just Julie has been corrupted to act like a 13 year old in the last year since school. I sent her to school a sweet innocent 5 year old and they sent her back an attitude filled whiny wannabe teenager. Its okay though. Maybe if she goes through her teenage stage at 6 it won't be so bad when she is a teenager. Wishful thinking? Probably. Let me have my dreams people!
Anyways onto Kenzie. Shes the calmest kid ever. She cusses like a sailor, and I have NO idea where she gets it from. OK, I lie. I am totally her role model. When her and Julie fight she doesn't cry unless shes in pain but she will take Julie down! I am sure in the proceeding months of this blog you will laugh at my kids antics as much as I do. They are clowns.
Well I am going to end this post now as the bus should be here momentarily and I will be needed to ref a few fights. Ahhh its all in a days work of a mother. Hope whoever (if anyone) who reads this enjoys it! And come back in later days to see new posts. Hopefully a more organized post, as I seem to be all over the page with this one. Everyone take care! Think positive! Mellie out.